Tuesday 25 November 2014

Hip babe

Master S had his post brace x-ray the other day and now has perfect hips. Hooray! In hindsight the brace wasn't too bad - just another thing to worry about. He had it from 12 - 24 weeks, 23 hours a day for seven weeks and 20 hours a day for five weeks. It bothered me more than him.

I had never heard of hip dysplasia until I was told Miss J had clicky hips and we were sent off to have an ultrasound. She turned out not to need treatment but at the time I googled all about it and was terribly upset just by the possibility of my perfect little baby having to have a brace. Fortunately (or unfortunately) by the time Master S and L were born I had become reasonably familiar with the condition as it seems to be increasingly common. I actually met an orthotist the other day. This is someone whose job it is to fit the braces. Never heard of the profession previously and now I'm actually bumping into them at parties (well one at one party but I don't get out much).

Whether or not it has become more common, one thing I know for sure is that you can't be too cautious. My friend's son didn't get diagnosed until he had a limp when he started walking. He is now in the middle of years of brace treatment which may not even work so he could still need surgery when he is four and then be in an almost full body cast for months afterwards followed by further brace treatment. Unfortunately, this scenario is not unusual. I'm in a facebook group about hip dysplasia which has 1,873 members. Many stories are similar to mine - picked up early, treatment whilst a baby, not too big a deal. However, many stories are horrendous with years and years of treatment because it wasn't picked up early. 

So if you're pregnant or have a little baby, I highly recommend that you push to have an ultrasound on the hips. It doesn't hurt the baby and could save you years and years of torment.


Saturday 1 November 2014

Halloweening

I just looked up halloween on wikipedia and I still don't really understand what it's about. I know there are lots of people who say it's just a commercial exercise and it's not an Australian tradition. Maybe they are right but it's also fun and I actually think it's great for building a community spirit.

I have never seen so many children running around on the street as I did yesterday. It was fantastic to see neighbours talking to each other and people generally getting excited as a group. I hadn't actually realised it was halloween until yesterday when we walked down the street and discovered houses decorated with spider webs, black cats and skeletons. Not wanting to be the halloween grinch, I decided to get onboard and like it or not, it would seem that a lot of people are with me. By the time I got to the shops they had run out of pumpkins.

Miss 2 what was going on but she loved looking at the decorated houses and seeing the little witches, ghosts and various other costumed and face-painted children running around. When they all knocked on the door at about 6.30pm she was literally about to jump into the bath and was stark naked as she opened the door. It almost seemed like I had been organised enough to prepare her a costume.




Thursday 16 October 2014

Minimising pink

This morning I was pretty disappointed, sadly not surprised, to read the TV show 'Family Feud' thought it appropriate to label particular types of jobs as male or female. Female jobs (according to survey questions posed to 100 Australians) included cooking, cleaning etc. You get the picture. While the answers are obviously disappointing, it is more outrageous that the questions were asked in the first place.

Having spent the last few years at work promoting women in engineering and women in leadership, I may be hyper-alert to gender stereotypes. However, it doesn't take an expert to realise that exposure to these stereotypes starts at birth. Girl babies are marked pink, boy babies are marked blue.

Right from day one with my daughter I committed to minimising the pink in her life. We hadn't found out the gender so everything we had before her arrival was unisex. However, as soon as the 'New Baby Girl' cards started arriving, I realised I had my work cut out. Everything was pink. Everything! It's not that I don't like pink. I do. I just also like green and blue and yellow and I don't think it's necessary for a girl to be labelled a girl by putting her in pink all the time.

As I was reading about this Family Feud debacle, J was playing with her gears toy. I was feeling pretty proud, thinking she was bucking the stereotype - doing some science. Right on cue she looks up and says, "Mummy, I need help putting in the yellow flower". So she calls the cogs flowers. That's ok, they do look like flowers. I hope the boys call them flowers when they grow up too.

Saturday 11 October 2014

Curse of the big kid

Thank goodness school holidays are over. The last two weeks have seen our usually serene and quiet parks tormented by older children running and screaming and scooting and doing all normal things that you would expect of school age children. This is great for them but kind of stressful for the rest of us. 

It's not just that the parks are super busy and the little ones get pushed around and miss out on their turn - it is the unforeseen influence the older children have. My daugher, like most toddlers, is a copier. She watches, she learns, she attempts. This school holidays has therefore turned out to be extremely hazardous for her. When she sees someone climb across the top of the money bars, she thinks she can do it too. When she sees someone climb on top of the tunnel which is already three metres high, she thinks she can do it too. I try really hard not to discourage but some things are just ridiculous. She has never had as many accidents as the last two weeks. Of course she is fine.  She's probably even all the better for this new found sense of adventure, but she is looking a little worse for wear with bruises and scratches from head to toe and I'm pretty sure I am looking more haggered than ever.


Sunday 28 September 2014

Eggs

Following my post from a few weeks ago about Miss 2 being a champion shopper, I've been a bit concerned that she thinks everything comes from the shop. While we have great aspirations to be some kind of urban permaculture champions, the reality at the moment is we have a few herbs and a chilli plant growing in the backyard.  Everything else pretty much does come from the shop.

So yesterday I had a bit of a win. We visited my parents for the first time in eight months and while we were there Miss 2 proudly picked up two eggs from the chook pen. I know this is everyday practice for many children and it was for me growing up too, but for Miss 2 it is pretty novel.  She proudly carried one in each hand and when we got home straight away put on her apron, scrambled them up, watched me cook them and ate them all up. It's only one little thing but it has got to be a step in the right direction.



Monday 15 September 2014

Beer babies

My husband is obsessed with brewing beer. As I sit here, I know the cupboards to my left which you would expect to be filled with books are actually filled with bottles of beer, the bathroom which we don't really use because Miss 2 is still bathed in the laundry trough (that's another story) has half-brewed beer stacked in it with towels over the top in case of explosion. Next there is the laundry where in amongst baby clothes I regularly come across what at first look like baby wraps but are actually some kind of muslin cloth that the beer is strained through. In the kitchen there are bottles with their labels soaking off and various brewing apperatus drying in the dish rack. It's all very neat and orderly and you may not even notice unless you look carefully but this hobby really is all encompassing. Often when we arrive home from somewhere, as soon as the children are sorted he nips out to the shed to check on the beer - his other babies.

A few weeks before the babies were born, Ed honestly sat me down and told me his efficiency strategies to ensure that the brewing didn't take up too much time and what he was hoping to achieve despite having three children under three. Namely this was to enter a brew in the Royal Show competition and to host several tasting events where his friends come over and literally sit around the table tasting beer and scoring it according to the Australian brewing standards. It all looks very serious until they each end up with a baby on their lap.

I genuinely love that he has a hobby. It's just a shame I don't really like beer. It seems to me that he manages to do most of the work while I'm not around or on sunny afternoons when we're all hanging around outside so still together. I have, however, noticed that the part which seems to take up a lot of time is waiting for water to boil which is neither fun nor interesting. So I've jumped onboard with his quest for efficiency and bought him a 40 litre electric urn for his Birthday. Problem solved! If it doesn't work out, we can just make lots of tea.





Wednesday 10 September 2014

The food shop

At the risk of alienating myself from what seems like every other parent in the world and jinxing my current situation, I'm going to say this - I quite like doing the food shopping with Miss 2.

I'm fortunate to live quite close so we tend to do lots of little shops. We walk up with the roadtrain; babies usually asleep in the capsules, Miss 2 on the board. As soon as we get there she jumps off and we have two activities which keep her very happy. The first is that she is in charge of the basket. Yes she is slow and sometimes she drops everything but if we're not in a hurry and its not too busy I just try to be patient and the worst thing that happens is we end up with a few bruised apples.

The second, my personal favourite, is when I read the list to her and she runs off to find the item.  "We need one red capsicum".  Run, run, run, "found it," she yells.  "Ok, now where's the milk?"  "In the fridge!" and off she runs.  I push the babies at my own pace picking up the rest of items as we go, she uses a bit of energy, makes a lot of people smile, a few people scowl (haters will be haters) and all in all it's quite a fun activity. 

I know I've only got one mobile child and it won't always be this easy but it is for now and that's all I'm worried about. Maybe in the future I'll be able to send all three off to get different things and be done in a third of the time. Maybe I'll take up online shopping. I don't know.







Thursday 4 September 2014

Appointment free week

I was looking at my calendar this week trying to work out what I'd forgotten as there was way too much free time. It turns out this is the first week in 2014 where I do not have to attend any medical appointments. Seriously. I am not exagerrating.  First it was all about the pregnancy, then the hospital stay and then the various check-ups, vaccinations and general baby related matters.  

When I was pregnant, people were constantly telling me how important being on a schedule would be with twins and I was also told pretty clearly that the babies would likely arrive early. However, no one told me that premature babies require approximately one million follow-up appointments and therefore it would be impossible to stick to a routine.  So now that the appointments are slowing down let's hope there is improvement.

However, I'm not confident this is going to happen as rather than staying home and working on the sleep issues, I'm excited to actually have time to get out and do things.  The weather is fining up and I'm looking forward to spending time sitting around in parks.  Much like I did for J's first Summer.


Friday 29 August 2014

The godfather

Master S and L were baptised last weekend and their godparents officially appointed. It was a beautiful day with a simple ceremony and little party back at our house.  Everyone brought a plate of food, the sun was shining, the children were happy...all stress free fun.

Having just had to choose four new godparents, I've been thinking a lot about what this means. For me, regardless of religion, I think the beauty of godparents is that they provide an alternate adult for children to bond with.  I don't have any parenting expertise but I definitely believe that it is important for children to have adults in their life who they respect and who influence them, besides their parents.  

During the party on Sunday, I happened to notice Miss 2 in her room playing catch with her godfather.  She was loving the individual attention and whilst as a good friend, he would always be a part of her life, if he wasn't the official godfather I don't know whether he would have made the effort to play with her like this.  I think by appointing the godparents, it sort of gives permission to make a real effort.

It's a bit like having a mentor programme in the workplace.  Ideally, a young professional will create their own networks and mentoring type relationships will just develop organically. However, there's no guarantee this will happen and there's certainly no harm trying to match people up to give them a head start.



Wednesday 20 August 2014

Pay it forward chocolate cake

Don't worry, I'm not becoming a food blogger as well as a mummy blogger. I just wanted to say I have a new found respect for people with dietary requirements. I've always been somebody who will eat most things and I feel very lucky to not have any intolerance or allergies as I now know that I would not cope very well.

When Master S and L were very little, the paediatrician diagnosed them with a cow's milk protein intolerance - basically a dairy intolerance.  Apparently pretty common in premature babies.  This meant if I wanted to breastfeed I had to cut all dairy out of my diet.  At first I didn't think it was too big a deal as I don't drink a heap of milk but then I realised this included cheese and I love cheese and had just foregone all the good ones during pregnancy.  Plus dairy is in almost every yummy baked good - cakes, croissants, biscuits, everything.  Not to mention lots of pasta sauces and of course lasagne is out.  This wiped out many of the frozen meals I had cooked up for us prior to arrival of the babies.  Next I realise that even straight up chocolate has dairy in it.  I'm not really sure what milk solids are but they're in a lot of good things.

Now I must add that breastfeeding makes you hungry and breastfeeding twins makes you ravenous.  Also when you are sleep deprived, you kind of just want your comfort foods, so it's fair to say that at this stage I was pretty miserable.  

Then my friend Katherine knocked on the door one evening and like some kind of food angel produced a dairy free chocolate cake for me.  I can't thank Katherine enough for this but when I found out that one of the girls I met in the neonatal unit is still having to forego dairy, I got the recipe from Katherine and whipped up some chocolate cake for her too. Everybody needs cake.








Sunday 17 August 2014

One at a time

The babies continue to only sleep for about forty minutes at a time during the day.  It is absolutely driving me insane but I'm trying to roll with it and not let it get us all down.

This morning when they woke up clearly still in need of sleep, we just embraced it - whacked them in the pram and off we went for a morning coffee.  There aren't too many places around here open on a Sunday morning so everywhere that is open is packed and no chance of fitting in the road train. That's ok. Takeaway for us and off to the park.

Best decision ever. I sat on a bench and fed the babies one at a time while Ed and Miss 2 ran around chasing a honky nut. I can't believe I'm saying this but I love breastfeeding one baby at a time. I always dual feed because it's much more efficient so taking the time to do it one at a time felt extremely decadent. I think I'll do it more often.


Tuesday 12 August 2014

Just a great day

I had the best Saturday morning!  As soon as Miss 2 and Ed got back from swimming lessons we piled everyone and everything into the road train and walked up to our local farmers market. The sun was shining and the babies were smiling so we put down the rug and all sat down together just watching the world go by.  I even made a new friend - someone who it turns out had her baby in the neonatal unit at the same time as Master S and L.  We just got talking and in the end exchanged numbers.  I love being part of a community!

We bought some beautiful bread and some mussels, went home, cooked them up and sat down to a lovely lunch with some white wine.  It was like an eclipse into some kind of world where rest and relaxation exists.

It wasn't long before the babies woke up crying and it was back to reality, but that little snippet of time was just perfect.

Thursday 7 August 2014

Perth > Ballarat > Melbourne > Perth

Two planes, one bus, one train, one tram, one taxi turning up extremely late. Turns out that is just about the perfect recipe to tip me over the edge of crazy. However, we did it and I'm really glad we did.  The wedding was one of the best I've been to.  I genuinely had a really fun time and I am so happy to have been there to see my friends skip down the aisle together.

One thing I learnt is that getting on aeroplanes and other forms of transport really does require one adult per child.  I originally recruited my sister to come with us so that she could babysit while we were at the actual wedding.  This of course was necessary but what I hadn't realised was that we would need her throughout the journey.  No matter how great a day Miss 2 is having, I can't really expect a toddler to carry her own bags and put her own seatbelt on. Well not when time is limited.  Thank you Claire!

The journey over actually went really well.  Both babies slept almost all of the way in the plane, pram hire lady met us at the baggage claim area and we were even running early so able to quickly jump on an earlier bus to avoid the expected hour and a half wait.  It was absolutely pelting with sideways rain as we ran from the terminal to the bus and I must admit that I did curse those who had decided to have a wedding in Ballarat in August.  Then I turned on my phone to find reports of snow which just made the situation somewhat laughable. 

The beatiful sun came out on the wedding day, I was able to walk between the wedding venue and our accommodation and the order of proceedings was casual so I just nipped back to help get everyone to bed.  It all came together super well on the day. Yay for us!

Now I need a holiday.





Tuesday 29 July 2014

Were the naysayers on to something?

"We don't like twins" was the opening remark of the first doctor I saw after finding out I was pregnant with twins.  It hit me like a slap in the face.  I was expecting "congratulations."  She went on to tell me every possible risk factor there is with an identical twin pregnancy.  I left in tears feeling like my uterus was a ticking bomb.  One of the next doctors I saw proceeded to tell me that there was no way I was going to carry two healthy babies to full term and he recommended a c-section at thirty-five weeks. So it went on. It seemed that the health professionals were determined to kill my buzz.


Random people at work and even one in line at a coffee shop went out of their way to tell me they had once had a twin pregnancy but it didn't work out. These are not stories I needed to hear.  I did my best to stay confident but between the experts, the anecdotes and Dr Google it was a pretty nerve-racking period.

I ended up delivering naturally at 34 weeks and the babies were in the neonatal unit for three weeks.  It's a bit of a blur but the discharge summary mentions respiratory distress, apneas, caffeine treatment (for me or the baby?), sepsis, jaundice and a whole heap of other words I don't know the meaning of.  For three weeks, I spent my time traipsing between home and the hospital, trying desperately to find babysitting for my not quite two year old, give her the attention she needed plus bond with the babies.  It wasn't a fun time.

I now realise that 34 weeks gestation with three weeks in hospital is actually pretty good for twins and despite our ups and downs, the boys have done really well.  However, it would seem we are in the minority. I have kept in touch with three other twin mums who I met in the neonatal unit and all three have ended back in hospital after discharge. 

This weekend we're heading to country Victoria for a wedding - four hours on a plane plus one and a half on a bus. We committed months ago and of course I'm nervous but I'm excited. Would I have booked if I'd known what I do now? Probably not. Am I glad I did? Yes. Let's just hope we continue to overcome the odds and the boys not only stay healthy but we have a great time. Fingers crossed!

Saturday 26 July 2014

Fear Of Missing Out

Anyone who grew up in Perth probably remembers going to Scitech for school excursions.  I remember heading into the city on a bus, the big dome on top of the building, escalators (quite exciting for a country girl) and that's before you even get to the exhibitions - things to climb, things to smell, things to touch. 

On Thursday when my sister reversed out of the driveway, taking Miss 2 to toddlerfest at Scitech, I suffered from FOMO.  It's of course not that I wanted to worry about parking and lining up with crowds of toddlers and their stressed parents.  I am hugely grateful to have missed that. What I wanted was to see my daughter having a super-fun time as she discovered new things. That moment when she realises that she presses a button and the lights come on or she jumps on a square and the music starts.  The sense of accomplishment that shows on her face when she realises she's achieved something is just delightful. That's what I wanted to see.

However, on this occasion I was at home rocking the babies and Miss 2 was out with aunty Claire.  I felt like such a mum as I put together all her things - change of clothes, wipes, waterbottle, healthy biscuits, piece of fruit.  I printed out their tickets, instructed Claire on how to do up the car seat and waved goodbye.  Not with a sense of worry at all, just a bit of sadness that I wasn't going with them.

A few hours later, though, when Miss 2 burst through the door with fits of excitement trying to tell me everything she had seen as much as a two and a bit year old can, everything was ok. "Moon! Bubbles! Balls! Car!"  I wasn't there at the time but I certainly still got to enjoy seeing how happy she was about it all.  Now when I see her playing with the toy she got on the way out (that's what aunties are for), I have the memory of her excitement when she got home.  It might not be the same as being there but it's still pretty good.  Plus I remember that she was exhausted and had the best afternoon nap she's had in ages.  A good day for all.

Wednesday 23 July 2014

A few minutes to delight a toddler

The babies are currently only sleeping forty minutes at a time during the day. I've tried patting, rocking, feeding, letting cry, not letting cry, more awake time, less awake time. Ninety percent of the time I end up pushing them in the pram, whether it be backwards and forwards in the house or actually going for a walk. It's certainly not a great situation but at least they are getting sleep.  Fortunately these are not my first children and I know that whatever is going on with them, it's only for a little while.

On the flipside, it is unfortunate these are not my first children because the person suffering most from the attention the babies are demanding is my toddler. There are only so many walks she can go on and no matter how hard I try, it is quite difficult to do much else besides push a pram, particularly a rather heavy tandem pram. I am, however, learning to really make the most of every moment we have together.

On Monday we were walking home with the roadtrain - boys each in a capsule and Miss 2 on the kickboard at the back. She was very interested in all the puddles around and she wanted to stop and play. My natural instinct was to distract her from this idea and rush us home so I could get on with the feed, bath, bed mission in hopes that the babies would be done and dusted in time to get a few jobs done before starting the feed, bath, bed process again for Miss 2. As I turned the corner onto our street though I realised that if the boys were in the pram they would probably stay asleep or at least happy a bit longer. What harm would it do to let her have a bit of a play in the puddles? So instead of rushing home and focusing on the babies, we rushed home, put on our gumboots and went back out. We both had a splash, Miss 2 fell over, got back up, giggled, kicked, ran, got dirty, loved every moment.  It started to rain and we headed home.  I looked at my watch, we'd only been out ten minutes but it was the best ten minutes of my day. She was happy, I was happy and the babies were still asleep. Ten minutes was all it took.








Monday 21 July 2014

Twins – there’s no going back!

I wrote the below in October 2013 thinking that I might become a regular blogger. Nine months later I am revisiting the idea.

About three weeks ago I found out I was pregnant with twins. After a recent failed IVF attempt, my husband and I turned up to the ultrasound with our 17 month old daughter anxious and tetchy. Sensing our tension, little J was not on her best behaviour, commencing her whinging just as the cold gel hit my tummy.  My husband Ed was busy going through my bag searching for something to entertain her when the sonographer, Paige, calmly said, “Are you seeing what I’m seeing?” 
We both looked up at the screen as she pointed to two little blobs, “That’s one and that’s two”.  My eyes immediately welled up and a smile broke out. Twins!  I had been absolutely paranoid despite the positive pregnancy test that there wasn’t going to be a healthy beating heart.   Now there was two.  Unbelievable. 
Paige (who I’d never met before and will probably never meet again but I guess I’ll never forget) was amazing. She told us she had to do a whole lot of boring measurements and while she was doing that we should just talk to each other and absorb the information. By this point Ed had broken out the food for J and she was pretty busy eating her pikelets.  Ed seemed to be taking a little longer than me to absorb the information. “Two babies!” he exclaimed.
Meanwhile I had skipped forward six months. “How am I going to keep two babies inside of me for nine months?” I’d had a perfectly healthy pregnancy with J but she was born at 37 weeks and just 2.8kg. I’m 163cm and weigh 48kg. The sheer physical challenge was/is daunting.