Wednesday 27 April 2016

Twelve days of toilet training two year old twin boys

This isn't a story about how to toilet train in three days. This isn't a story about waiting until the right time and then it being super easy. This isn't a story of it being disastrous. This is just a story about what we did and how it worked for us.

With the boys having a few developmental delays, I had assumed that we wouldn't toilet train for a while. However, since things started coming together for them they just haven't stopped. The latest thing was Master S constantly wanting to sit on the toilet. It was driving me crazy. In the end, I decided if I was going to spend half my day reading to him on the toilet then we may as well give toilet training a go. I looked at the calendar and picked a week in May when we didn't have much on. We went to the shops and bought 15 pairs of undies (huh! as if that was enough) and fortunately around the same time received a box of hand me downs which included another 12 sets of undies. 

We did three things to prepare. One - I started to talk to the boys about how they would wear undies soon and not need nappies. Two - We switched to using cloth nappies overnight as well as during the day just because I think they can feel the dampness more in cloth. Surely that has to help with awareness. Three - I started putting them on the toilet whenever they showed interest and we actually did get a few poos in.

Then one Thursday afternoon I decided we couldn't wait another month. I texted Ed to make sure he was ok with us giving it a go. He responded with a yes at 4.30pm. We'll call this Day 0.

Day 0. 4.30pm. I rolled up all the rugs in the house, put the toddler seats on both toilets, announced that children weren't allowed on the sofa for the time being (which Miss Nearly 4 was strangely compliant with), put the undies on, took this cute photo and sent it to Ed. By the time I'd hit send, I had to change the undies. By bedtime there had been seven accidents. 

Day 1. I wasn't expecting any success so it didn't matter that I was on my own. The boys have a terrible habit of pooing in bed just as they wake up so I lept in and got them out of their cots as soon as I heard sounds. I was there in time. Success I thought! 

That wasn't the only success we had for the day. We also got most of a poo in the toilet but by nap time we had been through 24 pair of undies. It was constant. It was comical. I wasn't worried. I remembered that my daughter had been similar on her first day but she got there eventually.

Day 2. Ed was home and things were a lot easier. We had a few successes and only 16 sets of undies to wash at nap time. We'd also been to swimming lessons so they undoubtedly weed in the pool but they didn't wee in the car so I was happy with that. 

Day 3. Only one accident each all day! I was amazed. Ed and I were high-fiving each other. I was beginning to think those stories about toilet training in three days weren't mythical.

Day 4. Massive regression. Worst day by far. Ed was back at work so I was on my own. It was really hard. Most of the accidents happened during the morning rush when I was busy cleaning up breakfast, hanging out the washing and putting the groceries that had been delivered away. It took me 1.5 hours to put the groceries away and we still had multiple accidents during this time. 

Master S had a few successes but on two occasions while I was helping him, Master L had accidents. This is when back-up would have been good. I considered buying a potty to put next to one of the toilets so I could be with both of them at the same time but that would mean leaving the house and we certainly weren't up to that. 

By bed time that day, I was feeling like a failure. How could they regress so much? It didn't help that Miss Nearly 4 decided to turn into a monster on this day as well. Clearly she was sick of being stuck at home. So was I. We weren't a happy household. 

Day 5. My friend took Miss Nearly 4 out for the morning. She deserved a break. So did I but that wasn't going to happen. There were still quite a few accidents (more than Day 4) but also quite a few successes. I felt like we were back on track. 

Day 6. I was babysitting another 4 year old which I know sounds crazy but it actually worked nicely. He and Miss Nearly 4 played pretty independently so I was free to keep an eye on the boys. I also had a friend come over in the afternoon. Slightly fewer accidents but still nowhere near the success of Day 3.

Day 7. We had to leave the house to go to the toy library. Apparently the message was received that they weren't to wee in the car. We got there. I told them each how wonderful they were. We walked inside and they both immediately weed on the floor. It was a little bit funny. There were only two more accidents that day though so we were nearly back to Day 3 standard. I was happy. 

Day 8. Ed had the day off work and I wanted to get out of the house. We went to the zoo. The first time I took them to the public toilets they screamed and ran away. Not sure if this was because they didn't need to go or because they didn't like the adult-sized toilets. The second time there was a toddler seat and they both did a wee. Hooray. 

We got home all dry and it was looking like being an accident free day. That was until we went to a friend's house for dinner. It was noisy. It was new. The toilet was upstairs. We were downstairs. They both had accidents.

Day 9. Unremarkable day. A few accidents each.

Day 10. When I decided to kick-off the toilet training, I knew we had the Playschool concert to go to on this day and had decided that if we had to we would just put nappies on them. We decided to risk it. No problems at all! We got there and back and didn't even visit a toilet. Winning! S still had a couple of accidents later in the day but L had his first accident free day and we were feeling great again! 

Day 11. Another unremarkable day. A few accidents each. 

Day 12. Ed was back at work. I was braced for regression but I was rewarded with success. Accident free all round! Hip hip hooray! We did it! 

It was a tough 12 days but it was worth it. We spent a lot of quality time at home. We read a lot of books and we did a lot of puzzles.

I'm under no illusions that it's all done and dusted. I know there will be accidents and frustrations and they'll be hanging out in their undies for a while longer. It's not over yet but it's the afternoon of Day 13 now and so far so good. I'm very pleased.

Wednesday 6 April 2016

Two by two!

We have two little two year olds!

It's definitely been a difficult year. So much more difficult than the first. We've had a lot of worries and a lot of hard days. We haven't hit many of the traditional milestones but things are changing and there are some pretty great things happening so I've made up my own list of milestones we've hit in the last month or so. 

The morning call-out. It's finally changed from general crying or nonsensical yelling to a pretty clear, "Mummy...Daddy...Jen Jen" on repeat. "Mummy...Daddy...Jen Jen....Mummy...Daddy...Jen Jen..." Much harder to ignore than general whining but also pretty cute. I like it.

Getting in and out of the car. Two walkers means two less trips trips to or from the house. We get home. I just open the doors, get them out and they toddle into the house. Same goes for when we go out. I basically just carry our gear and they get themselves to the car. I never knew what a difference it would make but all of a sudden things are taking a lot less time. To put a cherry on top, the boys walking has coincided with Miss nearly 4 being able to put on her own seatbelt. It's amazing. Who knew getting into the driver's seat and not having to twist around to buckle her up would feel like a luxury!

Not reliant on the pram. I'm only seeing a glimpse of this but we now no longer need a pram to cross the road. We went to the library this week. Parked, got out and walked in. Carrying two plus nappy bag and keeping an eye on Miss nearly 4 is just hazardous. With walkers, things are all of a sudden so much easier. Even if I end up carrying one, it's still so much better than getting the pram in and out of the car for a 30 second walk.

Occasional dual independent play. The difficulty with twins is that even if one is happily playing, unless the other one is as well it makes no difference to me. I'm either able to do something of my own or I'm not. To make matters worse, usually if one is happily playing and the other requires my attention, as soon as I go to play with the second one, the first stops what he's doing and wants to get involved with me. 

The other problem is that they interfere with what each other is doing and this results in screaming. People often say to me that it must be wonderful that they always have someone to play with and I'm sure it will be one day but most of the time right now, it's more like they always have someone to mess up what they're trying to do. 

Having said all that, I am starting to see snippets of the future. It's still remarkable when it happens but every now and then they actually play together and keep each other entertained for a while. It pretty much always ends in tears but there is a golden time when it's smiles all around. 

Following instructions. This is one that I knew they should have been able to do a while ago but I didn't know what a difference it would make when they eventually got there. Now days when I ask someone to put something away, he loves it. He'll pick up the toy or whatever it is, toddle off and come bag with the biggest smile on his face, so proud of himself. They both are going through a phase of loving putting things in bins too. We'll be at the park, someone will pick up some rubbish, look around and walk 100 metres to put it in the bin. The other one will be so jealous that I'll have to help him find some rubbish so he can have a go too.

General comprehension. Finally, I feel like when I'm talking to the boys they're actually understanding what I'm saying. This is the one that rang alarm bells for me a while back. It just seemed like they had no idea what was going on in the world. As it turned out, they couldn't hear consistently, so sadly I was right. We've got that all sorted out now and it's great. I can tell them what we're doing, where we're going, who's going to be there and they actually understand. It's so much more rewarding, so much more fun and everyone is so much happier. 

I know a lot of these things happen for much younger children. I know that there are other milestones that we're meant to hit at two but this is where we're at right now and I'm loving it. All the things that we thought would happen between one and two are happening right now in the space of just a few months. Exciting times! Great times!